Welcome to my blog! I am so excited to share my creation and inner processing with you ❤ Where to start? Firstly, I love to blog 🙂 Topics include my experiences, processing and evolving thoughts on... my miscarriage grief and trying to conceivenarcissistic experiences [daughter of narcissist]histories of sexual violence and witnessing domestic violence and … Continue reading Welcome
TW rape. I sat there, across from my counsellor. I was definitely rambling. If I just got every singly thought out of my head and out of my body then maybe I just might be able to breath a bit easier, or think a bit clearer. And there were lots of thoughts. Convoluted. But linked. … Continue reading Unprocessed. Untitled.
Pema Chodron's delightful book, "The Places That Scare Us" was profound and very inspiring. Even after a few months of finishing it, I am still mulling over, and noticing her teachings protected into my world. One such teaching is the concept of softening into discomfort. Please forgive my crude simplification of her incredible wisdom... but … Continue reading Holding discomfort.
I don't want to be here. In this mental time and mental space. I don't want to be doing this work. It is painful, and it hurts. It is convoluted and intertwined. Trigger buttons reloaded. Emotions are supercharged. I don't want to do this. No poetic insight. Just facts.
Trigger warning: rape. Brief mention of narcissism and self harm. I woke up from an intense dream last night. I was chasing a boy from high school.
Doctor: It's a panic attack. You are having a panic attack.
I realised that I have been holding onto my grief as a self proclamation or self righteous judgement on myself and the world around me. "Look at me!" I said, whilst holding the intangible. "It still hurts, if anyone is wondering" But they weren't wondering. If I just held tight enough, it might express how much … Continue reading Releasing Proclamations and Obsessions of Grief