Welcome to my blog! I am so excited to share my creation and inner processing with you ❤ Where to start? Firstly, I love to blog 🙂 Topics include my experiences, processing and evolving thoughts on... my miscarriage grief and trying to conceivenarcissistic experiences [daughter of narcissist]histories of sexual violence and witnessing domestic violence and … Continue reading Welcome
My time-honoured and society-awarded strategy for dealing with life is to strive. It sounds healthy and proactive on the surface. But ruffle those feathers even the slightest amount and you find it is just coded escapism. Like all strategies it served me well, and served its purpose. In primary school, the striving was for love … Continue reading Striving as escapism
I'm increasing my medication. Under doctor supervision and suggestion. And I've realised that I still have medication stigma ingrained in me. I am on holidays now, so it seems like a weird time to increase the dosage. But maybe that's best. My husband will be home, so if I have any symptoms, he'll be able … Continue reading Increasing Antidepressants.
I am articulate. Eloquent. Concise. Considered. stumbling, tongue-tied, inarticulate. I just got into an argument with BossLady. We have differing views on quite a few things. But usually her views come via my husband, rather than straight from her. They are even more intense and passionate coming straight from her. In my mind I search … Continue reading Arguments go differently in my head.
A note to self. Sharing incase you needed it too ❤ Dear soul, we say this to you, you have not been forgotten. You are seen.You are heard.You are held. In the ebbs and flows of the macrocosm, you have not been forgotten. In the intricacies of the microcosm, you have not been forgotten. In … Continue reading You have not been forgotten.
I texted my friend. Begging her to not suicide. And I am so glad I did. I just didn't realise that it was also addressed to me. Just hold on. I want to say to myself. And I want to rage back. I AM. I am holding on so god-damn tight, it hurts. Sometimes things … Continue reading
(Trigger warning: rape & self harm) The music is loud. My heart hurts. My throat is closed.My stomach, cramping. This was the song that kept me going. This was the song that I found my sensuality to. This was the song that epitomised my pain. This was the song that gave me hope. Promises made … Continue reading My headphones are in
TW rape. I sat there, across from my counsellor. I was definitely rambling. If I just got every singly thought out of my head and out of my body then maybe I just might be able to breath a bit easier, or think a bit clearer. And there were lots of thoughts. Convoluted. But linked. … Continue reading Unprocessed. Untitled.