The Psychopath I Couldn’t Save You From

I know you wanted us to save you.

You wanted us to stand there and say NO.

You wanted us there when he hurt you. Repeatedly.

You wanted truth. Or trust. Or anything else.

When he is trying to kill you.

 

Believe me, we wanted to save you.

But you and I both know that you never would have listened.

You didn’t hear what we said when we did say it.

We only saw a slither of the venomous snake he was.

 

We did say something.

We did know something.

But it wasn’t enough.

And looking back, it’ll never be enough.

 

If we knew then what we know now,

I would killed myself trying to save you.

We both know you were too bewitched and entranced to see.

And you put on that facade for us.

This is no way near your fault.

You are a bloody brave courageous warrior.

You took on a mother fucking murderer.

 

The voices from the other side tell me that you are safe.

You are free. You got away.

I just wish that you didn’t have to die first.

 

You know that I would do anything for you.

I went into hell and back for you.

And would do it all again.

It came so close to breaking me.

And I would do it a thousand times more.

 

… and yet …

 

I still couldn’t save you from him.

Maybe you didn’t need saving.

Maybe I needed you on this planet for a bit longer.

Maybe I wanted to save you so you can save me.

 

I miss you.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

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