the powers that be. and the ego.

So I have literally just got back from a wonderful talk by an absolutely gorgeous channeller, Rebecca Dawson. Check her out, she is legit awesome and awesomely legit!

And I’m in the room with all of these spiritual people. Most with a lot more life experience then me. Totally more spirit knowledge… whatever that may be.

The topic of Rebecca’s talk was discussing the transition from 3(&4)D into 5D. It was so beautifully put. I wish I could just capture it, and share it here. If she uploads a video, I totally will.

So anyways, Rebecca was talking about how the old energy system needs workers, and that humans moved from the sacred creators and custodians to workers. Yes there is totally sociopolitical and conspiracy stuff that could be outlaid here but another time perhaps. Or another blogger. With the new age, we are moving back into the space of creation. Rebecca as talking about the need for moving away from pushing anything. The forced consistency is no longer required… or even okay for us now [here she links back to the changing notion from the 3D cyclic nature to the pulsation of 5D – ahh wow! Powerful stuff!].

My husband would argue that her added notion of moving away from all discomfort is idealistic and beyond optimistic… and that is fine.

But as the talk continued, and questions were raised and answered, i found out the most personal of things. I’m scared!

I’m scared of the unknown. Like, I can totally walk into an unknown classroom of unknown children of unknown ages and teach an unknown subject. And by “totally” I mean like internally kicking and screaming and cursing. Totally fine with it. Ha. I must probably add the disclaimer that with me being ‘totally fine’ my handsome husband gets the hour of tears and/or venting that comes with such a feat.

Okay, so apparently I’m not that good with any change.

Like I’m scared of change!

I’m scared of being happy beyond belief. Which sounds weird and hypocritical and privileged. But I mean for it to be raw and honest. I don’t know what it’s like. It’s unknown. So I’m effectively hanging onto being unhappy (because I’ve known it in the past) out of fear of the unknown (and thus happiness)…

I’m scared of not knowing how the bill will be paid, or what meal I’m going to eat. [Who am I kidding, I never stick to my dinner plan anyways…].

Part of me so wants to move to that space of flow and trust.

And I feel that with bub that is coming through. I feel like he is bringing with him, his natural space of trust. And knowing.

But then I get caught up with “real life”. Cue 3D. Cue ego.

So what am I holding onto?

And why do I actually feel disappointed when the channel doesn’t address me as something almighty and abounding in my natural awesomeness. Like. ahhh.

‘S/he’ answered a question, and was like “dear one, you are already there” to this one beautiful guy. But to me… “because you are stuck in the old ways”. But I don’t want to be. I want to be all enlightened and shit. AND. Because clearly that’s not enough. I want everyone who’s anyone to goddamn recognise it and bow down.

I don’t think I mean that literally. But then again, I think there might be some actual truth in it for my ego. See what I did there. I totally distanced myself from the wicked and unenlightened thought by assigning it to ‘ego’. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe that is my deep down desire … who knows these things.

So the Powers That Be offered some wonderful insight today. It was beautiful. And I am so grateful! [Why is grateful spelt that way? Really. It’s weird] And ego came too.

May you have people that love and inspire you (because of, and in spite of) your ego and all your constructions. May your life flow with ease and love and happiness. And may you have someone awesome in your world, such as I do with Rebecca.

disclaimer: all the actual insightful stuff here is Rebecca’s. Check her out. The rest is my internal mush. 😀


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