q. SO why RaeRaeReal?
a. It’s not my real name – ironic, I know.
In not being my real name I hope for some level of anonymity. Not for fear of anything I say; because I am always open to hearing about other people’s perspectives and experiences of my writing. But because if you “knew me” you would know external and societally created constructs that define me according to my race, religion, language, profession, appearance, family etc etc. I wanted a space where I was free to express myself in my entirety. With all the convoluted roundabouts and dead-ends. Because there are so many parts to me. And all of them, even the angry, hurt, offended, weird, opinionated, passionate, and just plain crazy parts are valid and perfect and join together to make up an entirety. And I wanted to honour that.
q. So then, why RaeRaeReal?
Oh, yep. I’ll actually answer this time.
a. RaeRae was a name I was given during a particularly difficult time in my experience. I was staying in an Indigenous community at the time. Due to cultural sensitivities, certain names are not to be spoken. This included my first, second and last names. RaeRae just kind of happened through a mash of them all. And it stuck.
At this time, I was one of two white people in the community (apart from the teachers that didn’t live in the community). So 500 people or so and I was one of two white people. And it was incredibly liberating. I was completely out of my normal experience. I didn’t speak the language. Any of them. Although I thought I understood parts of pigeon. I had nothing to live up to. My daily construction back home of abuse, pain, and lies was lifted. I was out on Country. And it was SO healing.
So that is why. RaeRae came from a very healing time in my world. And it kind of developed into this alter ego to some degree. This person that I am able to express myself through. She’s a hippie. Totally a hippie. But most of all, she/I am/is so authentic and real. SO REAL! So there; now you know.
Also. Star Wars! Ray!! So cool!