So I’m at a place in my world where my family is going to court against a psychopath.
I am having to place all of my hope and trust in a system that is designed to see the light and goodness and hope in people… when in all seriousness, there isn’t a huge amount of that in some people.
I think the justice system is flawed. Especially when it comes to the sociopath and psychopath end of the spectrum. Violent manipulation, exploitation and systemic breaking down of victims is covered up from every angle. In every way.
It becomes a desperate game of she said, he said. And then he said, she said – but in a slightly emotional, probably unstable, can we really trust her kind of way
And I would add narcissism to this as well.
Our justice system doesn’t know how to protect people against perpetrators it finds charming or fascinating. “Good, solid hard working people”. So if you’re going to fuck with people, make sure you do it on every angle. Work, personal, pleasure. So then at least they can all vouch for each other. And with these carefully constructed narratives with whatever ‘evidence’ they report to have… make it almost impossible to truely convict these people, until it’s too late.
I remember going to the police station with the victim of this story. Fighting to be believed. Fighting for this to be seen as more than a “domestic situation”.
Whether it is between lovers, haters, different families, communities, races, religions etc… violence is never okay. And yet, somehow it’s different in our country. Somehow it’s ‘mostly-not-okay-ish’ if a person (man or woman) hits their lover.
Until when? Until someone dies! And then there is outrage.
But this was all preventable. And it is bloody hard work!
And this is what we were fighting. We were fighting a boys club. A fucking mysogonistic boys club. Victim blaming. Does it really count as rape. Why did you marry him if he was violent. Why did you stay with him. Why are you so emotional. Why haven’t you recorded everything down factually. Oh, you have recorded things down factually – it seems a bit too convenient.
And look, there is a huge part of me that lives in a beautiful la-la land most of the time. And in that world what everyone needs is love and connection. And I honestly believe that love, compassion, empathy and connection as the driving force will solve 99.8% of the problems we have as a society. Drug addiction. Poverty. Childhood incarceration. Asylum Seekers. Religious Extremism. Anxiety. Mental health experiences. Childhood disengagement. Career dissatisfaction. Marital problems. Racism. etc etc etc. You name it, and honestly-to-the-core-of-me I think that it most probably can be solved through love, compassion, empathy and connection. Sociopathy. Psychopathy. Not two of them.
And maybe there is the answer to some of it, as evidence points to childhood trauma as being a precursor to one. And you can’t prove psychopathy. ESPECIALLY in our ego-driven, over consumeristic obsession.
But that means that we are letting the victims down.
So this is where I’m at.
She was believed enough to be granted a Restraining Order.
Her daughter wasn’t.
But then we come back to the crux of the issue.
What is a piece of paper going to do to stop someone being murdered? Someone who physiologically cannot reach empathy or compassion. He biologically doesn’t give a shit. So what is this piece of paper going to do? Other than provide evidence. And that’s what this is. Providing evidence after the fact to find blame. But then, as in this case, the victim is gone. She died. She mother fucking died.
So now, despite the evidence, it is a horrific game of he said, she might have possibly-probably-said-that-but-it-can’t-have-been-that-bad-look-at-this-card-she-wrote-saying-i-love-you.
And where was the justice and support when she was still alive?
And trying to heal?
Actually, screw healing… what about just surviving.
When he was pacing outside her house.
When he was hiding in her roof.
When he had the piece of wood and the trap ready.
It’s simply a domestic issue.
Police assistant: he needs to be able to access his possessions that he has left at the house. Ah, no. In actual fact, no he doesn’t. He left that there because he knows that that would be said. It was said to his previous victim. He left it there as a strategic move to have legal access to the victim. So no. Police assistant, you are wrong.
So court is due to start in a manner of days.
And I am calling out to all the gods that have ever existed, ever worshiped or ever thought up – I’m on my fucking knees praying that the truth comes out.
Because we have nothing else left.
He took her from us.
And poisoned her last 10 years with unimaginable abuse and torment.
But I am told that this is not my fight.
But who else will fight for this innocence?
This truth and light?
Legal System, hear my cry. I am on my knees. Please. Please hear us. Hear the truth.