It was child abuse.

I need to repeat that to myself. Again.

It was child abuse.

I am rereading forums, blogs, quotes and other text about narcissistic mothers. Like trying to remind myself of this journey that I have already been on. To reveal these truths I have already uncovered.

I remember asking my birth-mother what her favourite age was for her children. I can remember her tone of voice. The look in her eye. The energetic knife she stuck in and twisted. “Two.” Then she continued “Most people really miss the time when their children were two, because they were cute and still actually did what they were told”.

Saying that now is like repeating the stab wounds.

That comment seems innocent enough. But it’s not. It reveals so much, if you’re willing to look a little deeper. It tells the listener that this view is normal most people. It also reveals the purpose of the child for her to look cute, get attention for cuteness and good-behaviour or funny words or what not. But at the end of the day, mindless submission was also paramount.

I am going to cross paths with NM again. In two days.

Against my will.

She has been told not to be there.

It’s a funeral.

She will be there.

There are angles she can play.

 

 

What I experienced was real.

And I am a survivor.

 

It was child abuse.

And I am a survivor.

 

Friends, please send your love and light!

I think I may need all the strength I can muster for this one.

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