Through getting so stressed about this, all of it, all of the TTC bullshit, I have inadvertently disempowered Baby Awesome.
Baby Awesome is coming on his time, for his reasons, to do his own shit.
And this journey is so incredibly profound.
I was scared of the places both myself and my husband were heading (in terms of self doubt, internalising, fear, shame, guilt etc). But if Baby Awesome has expectations / experiences of and for me, then it’s only logical that he might have the same for my handsome husband, who will also be my gorgeous baby-daddy.
And the message I got today was that I don’t need to shy away from what we both might experience during this time. Absolutely it will be painful at times, hopeless and crazy. But it is also life-affirming, connecting, loving, profound and awe-inspiring.
I think that our job is to process or acknowledge or even just feel what comes up in this time. Own it. It’s real. Maybe look at it. Maybe ask questions, of ourselves, of our situations / contexts / societal constructs. Or maybe not. And that’s okay.