Being okay.

This really nice thing happened today. Like, about 4 times!

I was working a school that I regularly go to.

I got my assignment for the day, and headed down to the classes.

My first half of the day was to be spent in room 17. To get to room 17, you need to walk through room 18. So I did. The teacher and assistant from room 18 saw me and both smiled. They asked if I was in there today. I told them I wasn’t. They both exclaimed ‘oh bummer’.

How nice is that?!

The thought crossed my mind that they were just being nice. But meh! What a lovely way to start the day. And what beautiful people they are to say that, especially if it wasn’t true.

I got to room 17. The assistant was SO onto everything. She asked if I was with her. I told her that I was, until lunchtime. She sighed with relief, and said that that was fantastic. THEN room 17’s teacher came in and seeing me, she asked if I was in her room for the morning. When I told her I was, she exclaimed how nice it was that there was someone who knew about [student year level] routines.

That was four people within half an hour.

In my typical form, I said that there must be some shitty teachers out there.
Which is a shame, that I could only take a compliment by downplaying my own-ness, and comparing myself to an “obviously” shitty counterparts…

Then during the lunch break, two students ran after me, asking if I was in there class later. I wasn’t. Oh, but Miss, just come anyway… how sweet!

And it continued. As I walked from one class to the next I passed staff that said hello and asked how I was going, and students asking if I was teaching them today, and when I’d be teaching them next…

I heard one substitute/relief teacher (my philosophical dichotomy) comment that her class hated her, and she knew it. They knew it. Admin knew it. [Side note, she was also the only one that could remotely do well with this class]

It kind of just affirmed that I was okay.

I’m not perfect. I don’t know everything. I make mistakes all the time.

But within this construct of teaching and learning and children and futures and energy and movement and the such… I’m okay. I’m doing okay.

The students seem to appreciate my approach. The relationships that I work so hard to cultivate are meaningful and reciprocal. The staff are okay (want to?) work with me. The students come up to me when I’m on duty and tell me what’s happening in their world.

I don’t know how this whole thing aligns. I don’t know how we change the education system, or how I fit into it, or if/when/how/why my ideas and approaches will change or be challenged or what not. I don’t know if I’ll be offered a job this year or next. Or if I’ll take it. I don’t know how this all works out, or where I’m heading… but right now, I’m okay.


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