I am rebelling against the system. Rebelling against all the voices in my head that have come from countless friends and strangers and good intentions. Voices that tell me my baby should sleep for longer, and more often and most of all alone. Today I tried. Because I wanted to. Because to-do lists are increasing and … Continue reading Precious bubba, precious sleep.
Or mostly my attachment to things that aren't happening sucks. ~~Part of my breast-feeding story~~ Breastfeeding is SO hard. And the hardest thing is that I want to do it. Little Miss hated breastfeeding for the first few days - if not first few weeks. I imagine that she wasn't impressed about having to work … Continue reading Breastfeeding sucks
There has been a lot of processing since writing this, and I am very fortunate to say that right now, I have a slightly wider perspective. However this oscillation between the idealised and reality was and still is a massive thing, so I wanted to share. Labour was absolutely brutal. For a portion of it, I hated it. … Continue reading Birth: Idealised verses Reality
TW: sexual abuse/trauma. Pregnancy is incredibly intense. At the best of times. Even with lots of love and support. Pregnancy can also be incredibly triggering. Here are some ways that I have found this pregnancy to be re-triggering, and some ideas about where to go from here. The Powerlessness of the Medical Industry The … Continue reading Present Pregnancy; Past Trauma.
*trying to write this a second time - because the words aren't coming out properly* My brother is getting married. Which is delightful. He has been with his girlfriend for probably almost 8 or 9 years now. They have always been together, and whenever I see them, it's together. She reminds me of a female … Continue reading Could you be just as disappointed in… you know… my abuser?!
Please don't get me wrong. I love that you are here. I am excited, and I invite you to witness and engage as you feel so drawn to do. But I am drawing the line at what is my responsibility, and what is yours. My intention This blog is about owning and honouring myself. Deeply and … Continue reading I am under no obligation to make sense to you
TW: discussion of NM and rape. I go through these times in my world, usually after particular triggers, where I find myself needing to tell my story. The abusive past, story. The story of surviving as a daughter of a narcissist. The continued experience with complex post traumatic stress (C-PTSD) story and how it can … Continue reading flashbacks and non-forgiveness