Releasing Proclamations and Obsessions of Grief

I realised that I have been holding onto my grief as a self proclamation or self righteous judgement on myself and the world around me. "Look at me!" I said, whilst holding the intangible. "It still hurts, if anyone is wondering" But they weren't wondering. If I just held tight enough, it might express how much … Continue reading Releasing Proclamations and Obsessions of Grief

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Bitchface and the shining sun.

I just need to vent. And I want to tell her that she is an asshole. An emotionally incompetent, selfish, asshole. I have requested a chat - to discuss our relationship. To try and heal our relationship. This venting comes off the back of messages about that. The messages were full of covering-my-ass statements like … Continue reading Bitchface and the shining sun.

Anxiety: My Friend

I went to an unhelpful psychologist a week ago who pathologized my experience with anxiety and the impact it has on my world. It was not normal and unhelpful according to him. And it has caused me to reflect upon my relationship with anxiety, and come to the conclusion that anxiety is my friend. Anxiety … Continue reading Anxiety: My Friend

Moving house: moving perception of self

It is so confronting on so many levels. I am faced with versions of my perceptions of self. And the stark reality of being different to that perception. Different to this perceived idealised self. I have not read that book (or that one, or that one, or that one). I have not integrated that knowledge … Continue reading Moving house: moving perception of self

Everything.

I want to understand the intricacies if the entirety of yoga philosophy, cultural interplays and contemporary understanding and forgotten mysteries before I do a single yoga pose.

And apply that to all things.
Eating. Sleeping. Parenting. Playing. Painting. Walking. Working. It all.

Asking for help is hard. But it gets better.

I was so wound up in the chaos and intensity in my mind, that I couldn't see clearly. I mean that figuratively and to some extent literally. The fog was incredible. I have previously spent so much time and energy exploring the recesses of my mind. I like to think that I am insightful and … Continue reading Asking for help is hard. But it gets better.

trains and postpartum anxiety/depression

I was leaving a lovely and refreshing catchup with an old colleague. And I cried. I was leaving the child health nurse appointment. And I cried. I was leaving brunch and hangout with my best friend. And I cried. It doesn't matter if I am catching up with my favourites, or admiring others admire my … Continue reading trains and postpartum anxiety/depression