Moving house: moving perception of self

It is so confronting on so many levels. I am faced with versions of my perceptions of self. And the stark reality of being different to that perception. Different to this perceived idealised self. I have not read that book (or that one, or that one, or that one). I have not integrated that knowledge … Continue reading Moving house: moving perception of self

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Everything.

I want to understand the intricacies if the entirety of yoga philosophy, cultural interplays and contemporary understanding and forgotten mysteries before I do a single yoga pose. And apply that to all things. Eating. Sleeping. Parenting. Playing. Painting. Walking. Working. It all.

Asking for help is hard. But it gets better.

I was so wound up in the chaos and intensity in my mind, that I couldn't see clearly. I mean that figuratively and to some extent literally. The fog was incredible. I have previously spent so much time and energy exploring the recesses of my mind. I like to think that I am insightful and … Continue reading Asking for help is hard. But it gets better.

trains and postpartum anxiety/depression

I was leaving a lovely and refreshing catchup with an old colleague. And I cried. I was leaving the child health nurse appointment. And I cried. I was leaving brunch and hangout with my best friend. And I cried. It doesn't matter if I am catching up with my favourites, or admiring others admire my … Continue reading trains and postpartum anxiety/depression

Breastfeeding sucks

Or mostly my attachment to things that aren't happening sucks. ~~Part of my breast-feeding story~~ Breastfeeding is SO hard. And the hardest thing is that I want to do it. Little Miss hated breastfeeding for the first few days - if not first few weeks. I imagine that she wasn't impressed about having to work … Continue reading Breastfeeding sucks

Birth: Idealised verses Reality

There has been a lot of processing since writing this, and I am very fortunate to say that right now, I have a slightly wider perspective. However this oscillation between the idealised and reality was and still is a massive thing, so I wanted to share.  Labour was absolutely brutal. For a portion of it, I hated it. … Continue reading Birth: Idealised verses Reality

Present Pregnancy; Past Trauma.

TW: sexual abuse/trauma. Pregnancy is incredibly intense. At the best of times. Even with lots of love and support. Pregnancy can also be incredibly triggering. Here are some ways that I have found this pregnancy to be re-triggering, and some ideas about where to go from here.   The Powerlessness of the Medical Industry The … Continue reading Present Pregnancy; Past Trauma.