I feel this massive, irrational and unexplainably urgent urge to complete change the whole system. I get frustrated when I haven't accomplished... like... world peace... by 4pm on a Sunday. Like, I don't think the world is working how it is. I think there is SO much pain. And so much devastation. I imagine it as if the … Continue reading Sunday thoughts, and saving the world
Please don't get me wrong. I love that you are here. I am excited, and I invite you to witness and engage as you feel so drawn to do. But I am drawing the line at what is my responsibility, and what is yours. My intention This blog is about owning and honouring myself. Deeply and … Continue reading I am under no obligation to make sense to you
My niece (cousin), my gorgeous, innocent, angelic, 9 year old niece, is taking her lastbreaths. And it is that once in a life time thing that you wish you never experience. You hope you never understand this. Because this is paradigm shifting. In what world is it fair, or even just ok for a lively, … Continue reading My baby, and your baby’s funeral.
Keep breathing. That's what I would say. One breath at a time. And then, rather incessantly... It's okay, I'm okay, Baby is okay. It's okay, I'm okay, Baby is okay. It's okay, I'm okay, Baby is okay. I have a baby. I am pregnant. At least according to the non-existent period, and the 6 different pregnancy tests. … Continue reading What would I say to me?
I can't today. And I don't know why. Shall we blame the anxiety, or the overwhelm? Shall we blame the journey, or the dates? Shall we blame perceptions, or the lack of innate knowing? I just think that something to blame would make this a bit easier right now. And I don't know what that … Continue reading the not-so-good day
No, just no! Every single thing I ever did - was not good enough. Every achievement, every award, every certificate or passing praise. In private. It was never good enough, in private. In public it was soaked up for all it was worth. Praise given to me was like an intravenous drip straight into her … Continue reading Saying abuse is a gift, is bullshit.
I really was. I texted my friend - who had just delivered her once-in-a-lifetime-baby. I reached out beyond the 'yay' of announcement. I genuinely reached out. And I meant it. AND it hurt. I know that it is a horrible thing, but I felt like vomiting when I got her announcement text. I changed my … Continue reading I was gracious